Perhaps the most painful way that COVID - 19 has disrupted our lives is how to provide end-of-life care for our loved ones, and grief and bereavement when our loved ones die. Many have died alone and even now we are not  able to mourn and bury them in our usual manner

In the article Do Not Go Through the Ordeal Alone: Grief in Times of Pandemics published by McMaster Optimal Aging, the question was asked “What can we learn from past pandemics and infectious disease outbreaks when strict public-health measures are in place?” There were few studies done on this topic, but there were several elements that could to the current COVID-19 pandemic.

The following are some of the key points in this article.

1.     A loss experienced at different levels:
    We not only lose our loved one and being able to be with them, we also experience a symbolic loss of lifestyle, culture and social practices during pandemics. Measures to contain the virus go against the desire to offer close, compassionate care to patients and their families at the end of life.

2.     A great uncertainty:
    The rapid growth and spread of this virus, the information given and its interpretation often did not adequately prepare families, and nurtured uncertainly. This uncertainty can create fear among patients, caregivers and professionals, and lead to increased psychological distress and sometimes even angry reactions towards individuals and institutions.

3.     A limited capacity for social support:
    The ability of individuals to support themselves during illness, grief and bereavement is limited during pandemics, whether between patients, families, caregivers or professionals.
 
•    Stay connected
    Invite people to call you or set up conference calls or virtual conferences with family and friends to
    stay in touch. Share stories and photos by post, email, phone, video chat or through apps or social media.

•     Reinvent mourning rituals and practices
    We need mourning rituals and practices that are respectful, consistent with the faith or culture of families, to mark the departure of the loved one during pandemics. Why not create a virtual memory book, blog or web page so that family and friends can honour the memory of your loved one, share memories. Prepare your loved one's favorite meal or any other concrete gesture that had significance and can remind you of them.

•     Ask for help
    Getting help is essential if you or a loved one is going through a crisis or needs emotional support. Crisis Services Canada provides a list of crisis and listening centers across the country (including local grief and bereavement support groups). These centers are there to respond to people who ask for help.
    
SOURCE:       www.mcmasteroptimalaging.org, July 15, 2020

 
This week let’s look at a common problem: becoming burdened by prayer. Often I find with some of my spiritual directees that their prayer becomes a series of tasks. Many devout Christians end up, with the best intentions, overwhelmed by the great many things that they feel that they have to do in their daily prayer, as if prayer is just a “to do” list. For example, someone might say, “Well, in the morning, I start with the Morning Offering prayer, then I read the Breviary, then I read the Daily Mass readings, then I pray a Rosary for all those people in my life who are sick, then I pray for those who have died recently.”

Each of those prayer practices can be enriching and helpful. But sometimes people feel overwhelmed by a schedule like that. Frequently people who practice these kinds of routine speak of feeling overwhelmed or burdened or even unhappy. They sometimes come to prayer with a sense of dread, rather than anticipation. In response, I’ll usually tell them to drop one or two of those “to do” tasks that they have set themselves. Or leave the most burdensome out every other day.

What might be missing is some quiet, still time with God, where one can just sit and be in God’s presence in a wordless way.

Think of your relationship with God as a friendship. If the time you spend with a friend is filled with obligations, you might feel that any chance for spontaneity has gone. You might miss some free-wheeling time with him or her. So if you’re burdened with prayer, try to let some things go. “Come to me, all you who are heavy burdened” as Jesus says. He wants to give you rest.

SOURCE:   James Martin SJ, www.americamedia.org

 
What is a Saint?
Saints were basically normal people. They just lived extraordinary lives or endured extraordinary circumstances. The Catholic Church honors them because of the miraculous impact their lives had on others, and people pray for a saint’s intercession in all kinds of circumstances.

     Patron Saints for the Modern World

Television and airplanes didn’t exist when most saints were alive, but saints are invoked for them nonetheless. Why? Saints often experienced things while they were alive that relate to events or items of today’s world. Here are some examples of saints from hundreds of years ago who experienced tragedies and miracles that are applicable to the modern world:
 
St. Clare of Assisi (13th century) was sick in bed and saw images of Mass from the chapel on her cell wall, similar to today’s video, although it was 700 years before TV was invented.
 
St. Joseph Cupertino (17th century) would levitate anytime church bells rang or organ music was played. His fellow friars used to tie a string to his leg so he would not float away.
 
St. Isidore of Seville (sixth century) compiled the first written database, a 20-volume encyclopedia on everything known at the time, from A to Z.
 
St. Gabriel the Archangel broadcast the important news about the Savior when he announced to the Virgin Mary that she was to become the Mother of God’s Son.
 
St. Apollonia (third century) had all her teeth smashed and removed as part of her martyrdom, so she’s the patron saint of dentists and those who suffer toothaches.
 
St. Arnold (seventh century) was an Austrian bishop who served in France and spoke often to his people on the benefits of drinking beer. The local drinking water was filled with lots of contaminants and could make people deathly sick, whereas the beer was prepared in such a way as to kill all harmful bacteria.

SOURCE:   Saints For Dummies, By Rev. John Trigilio, Jr., Rev. Kenneth Brighenti